Chronicle of the Damned, part 4

The DaVinci Code, writes the Library Journal, is a "compelling blend of history and page-turning suspense." The Chicago Tribune was equally effusive in its praise of Dan Brown's book: "Brown doesn't slow down his tremendously powerful narrative engine despite transmitting several doctorates' worth of fascinating history and learned speculation."

Discerning minds will wonder where the fiction ends and the history begins in this book.

The basic plot of the novel is this: the Catholic Church is perpetuating a major, centuries-long conspiracy to hide the "truth" about Jesus Christ from the public, and it or its agents are willing to stop at nothing, including murder, to do so.

Leonardo DaVinci is portrayed as a former head of the conspiracy guarding the "truth" about Jesus Christ. In the novel he is said to have planted various codes and secret symbols in his work, particularly in his painting of the Last Supper. According to the novel, this painting depicts Jesus' alleged wife, Mary Magdalene, next to him as a symbol of her prominence in his true teaching. [In reality (a concept foreign to Dan, it seems), the figure that Brown identifies as Mary Magdalene is John the Evangelist, who traditionally has been regarded as the youngest of the apostles and so is often pictured in medieval art without a beard.]

Among the lies promulgated by Brown in The DaVinci Code:

-Jesus is not God; he was only a man.

-Jesus was married to Mary Magdalene (who is to be worshiped as a goddess).

-Jesus got her pregnant, and the two had a daughter. That daughter gave rise to a prominent family line that is still present in Europe today.

-The Bible was put together by a pagan Roman emperor.

-Jesus was viewed as a man and not as God until the fourth century, when he was deified by the emperor Constantine.

-The Gospels have been edited to support the claims of later Christians. In the original Gospels, Mary Magdalene rather than Peter was directed to establish the Church.

-There is a secret society known as the Priory of Sion that still worships Mary Magdalene as a goddess and is trying to keep the truth alive.

Of course, since no reference to Christ in popular culture is complete without the customary Catholic/Roman/Papist conspiracy, the book also claims that:

-The Catholic Church is aware of all this and has been fighting for centuries to keep it suppressed. It often has committed murder to do so.

-The Catholic Church is willing to and often has assassinated the descendents of Christ to keep his bloodline from growing.

Despite none of these ideas being grounded in Christian tradition, many readers cling to their veracity. Why get bogged down in the facts, anyway? Therein lay the dispute. Brown claims to have done extensive and thorough research into these matters, a claim that, in the minds of too many, lends credibility to the tales he tells. A look at his bibliography, however, reveals works that neither historians nor religious scholars take seriously.

In the afterlife Brown will spend his time divided betwixt Circle Six, for heresy, and the bottom of Circle Eight, a place reserved for falsifiers of persons and words. That Brown's work has made it to the New York Times bestsellers list gives hint that he has prospered financially off of his crimes. You'd better live it up here, Dan, because the fame and fortune sure as hell won't do you any good in the fate that awaits you.